HDIEUMDBTSB #### Chapter 42: The Power of Singing
### Volume 1: The Road to Fame
#### Chapter 42: The Power of Singing
"Maybe I've always been afraid of finding the answer. Maybe love just quietly swirls in the wind. Leaving and letting go are brief and heavy..."
Chu Zhi's voice conveyed a sense of despair. Almost instantly, whether it was the first or second line of lyrics, Jiang Wan's memory was pulled back to a movie.
That movie, titled "Paper House," was released two years ago and focused on the theme of school bullying. The female lead, played by a talented young actress, had a scene where she screamed in despair after prolonged bullying, a sound that resonated deeply with the song.
For some reason, Jiang Wan hated "Paper House." She criticized it on five platforms: Douban, Maoyan, Taopiaopiao, Weibo, and her social media moments. She typically wouldn't go to such lengths to bash a bad movie; she usually ignored them.
Was "Paper House" a good movie? Not quite; it was slightly above average. But was it a bad movie? Definitely not. The lead actress's performance and the set design were commendable.
"Trash movie!" Jiang Wan muttered, refocusing on the TV and the oppressive black tide of silence.
The vast, boundless black tide seemed like a sea, and Chu Zhi was a small, shaky boat with no shore to anchor on, just like the empty stage around him.
Whether it was intentional by the lighting director or not, during the performance, no light was cast on the band or the choir. The only visible scene was a single spotlight on Chu Zhi, the rest swallowed by the audience's darkness.
The boat's frame was made of old wood, easily toppled by a wave. Jiang Wan wondered, "Can he finish the song?"
He was definitely scared. The close-up shot showed the singer's fear on stage.
His left arm, tightly gripping the microphone stand, trembled slightly. His legs were stiff, not daring to move.
What is true courage? It's knowing the danger but facing it head-on anyway. Chu Zhi was a courageous singer. His body had instinctively reacted to the fear of the black tide, but as the camera zoomed in, his facial expressions conveyed his terror.
Experiencing it first-hand, Jiang Wan felt Chu Zhi's despair deeply. His voice seemed to plead with everyone: "Can you help me? Please save me."
"Such a... familiar voice." Jiang Wan's mind echoed with this plea. It was a female voice: "Can I borrow your notebook? My workbook was thrown away. Please help me."
Was it from the movie "Paper House"? Immersed in the song, half of Jiang Wan's thoughts tried to recall if there was such a scene in the movie.
Who was that girl's voice in her mind? It was a thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl asking for help. The voice lingered in her ears, but the face was blurry.
That girl's face—why did it look like her younger self?
Soon, Jiang Wan realized why she hated "Paper House." In the movie, the protagonist experienced despair but was saved by a classmate who stood up for her and pulled her out of the bullying. The protagonist's life improved.
But in real life, nobody stood up for her. When Jiang Wan was in middle school, her parents and teachers offered no help. There were no saviors...
In the second year of middle school, after her beloved grandmother passed away, Jiang Wan's English notebook was thrown away again the next day. The thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl, under double pressure, asked the only classmate who was somewhat kind to her. By kind, she meant that this classmate didn't bully her along with others and treated her like a stranger.
"Can I borrow your notebook? My workbook was thrown away. Please help me," Jiang Wan had asked this classmate.
She was rejected.
Indeed, that classmate had no obligation to agree, but being rejected was the last straw for young Jiang Wan.
All the buried self-esteem issues resurfaced. These comments, not particularly vicious and sometimes even joking, felt like scars to Jiang Wan. Even though she had graduated from university, even though she was an adult, even though she had a successful career as a lawyer, these were still painful memories.
Jiang Wan fell into a cycle of self-blame, a loop of sadness she couldn't escape.
"There's a light, that moment, what pain is so piercing, your gaze is forgiveness, why can't it go out? I see it against the light."
Suddenly, a line from the song broke through Jiang Wan's mental loop, standing out with remarkable clarity.
### Volume 1: The Road to Fame
#### Chapter 42: The Power of Singing
It seemed as if the owner of that voice was reaching out to her. Jiang Wan realized that the singer on stage, even in the face of the overwhelming darkness and uncertainty, was still trying to save others with his fragile boat, even though it was on the verge of being destroyed by the tide.
"Facing hope, against the light, feeling the presence of love, always by my side. Light, you are the light."
The song ended.
The song lasted only three to four minutes, not long, but for Jiang Wan, it felt like an eternity.
"Why would you try to save someone when your own boat is already sinking? Won't it make you sink faster?" Jiang Wan clearly noticed that Chu Zhi was subtly wiping away tears, trying not to let anyone see. She wanted to mock him for crying, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Can you share with us the circumstances under which you wrote this song, Mr. Chu? I see that you wrote the lyrics, composed the music, and arranged it all by yourself."
"I hope that everyone who listens to my songs, whether they hate me or not, will be surrounded by light. Similarly, in love and in life, when burdened by excessive expectations, I hope they can walk against the light."
This was the interview with the singer after the performance.
"Idiot, Chu Zhi is an absolute idiot. I'm practically screaming in your face, and you still hope I can be surrounded by light? What kind of idiot are you?" Upon hearing this, Jiang Wan's suppressed anger burst forth like water from a broken dam.
"Don't you know how to fight back when you're bullied? Use the microphone to curse back!" Jiang Wan shouted at the TV, but her words felt like she was shouting at herself.
Her anger persisted until Chu Zhi announced that he would withdraw from the competition due to health reasons. At that point, Jiang Wan felt like a deflated balloon, recalling the earlier performance.
From beginning to end, Chu Zhi was gentle. He was telling everyone, "The world is gentle because you are in it."
Light, you are the light.
Jiang Wan silently repeated this lyric. She knew the lyrics were sung by Chu Zhi, but they felt directed at her.
"I clearly haven't forgotten middle school. I clearly still care about being bullied back then. I have indeed been affected. So why do I keep telling myself that I'm fine? I'm not fine. They brought me painful memories and an unwillingness to recall middle school. I hate them."
She said this to herself, feeling that the suppressed anger was gradually dissipating.
Chu Zhi's song allowed Jiang Wan to forgive herself. She kept telling herself that being unaffected by school bullying meant she had grown up and was more successful than her bullies, so she shouldn't have any problems.
"Those who bully others at school, there's no way in hell I'd forgive them even if they apologized. They're trash!" Jiang Wan seemed to revert to her usual cursing self.
But it was different now. As a certain great person once said, "Evil is evil, no need to dress it up. It's just transferring anger, bullying the weak, not daring to fight back, and being incapable of taking revenge on real enemies."
Her previous cursing was just transferring anger. Now, Jiang Wan's cursing was because "bullies deserve to be cursed."
"Why did I want to kick such a cute kitten before? I'm such a jerk." Having figured it out, the world seemed brighter to Jiang Wan. She wondered if she should go out and apologize.
On second thought, she decided to buy some cat food tomorrow and apologize to the kitten then. Today, Jiang Wan had more important things to do.
She no longer believed that Chu Zhi was truly the person his scandals painted him to be.
Time to search!
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